Welcome to my Online Home!

Turns out that there's a huge wood pile in the back yard, covered in blackberries and brush. In plans to create a firepit out back, I spent all day yesterday, with help from Steve Sensei and Sarah, burning down a lot of the brush and clearing the area.

Some time ago, through PWILD, I was on a trail maintanance crew (shout outs to C-Crew: Jen-1n, Greta, Allison, and Jenn-2n's) that hiked through Pisgah... maintaining stuff. Except for the licking flames, this brought back memories! The fire went well, though had a scary large blaze at the first. Thanksfully, it died down into something more managable. We cleared with a controlled blaze roughly a 50-80 rectangle. Now there's clean up to do.

Thanks again to Steve and Sarah. Sarah posted some pictures on her facebook, fyi.

peace,mike

Labels: dojo house, sarah kaneko, Steve Kaufmann

lol I don't feel like doing this anymore. I think I'm going to change the format up a fair bit and repost what I've posted, but for now, here's the rest of my list (which I AM going to check for projects, incidently...)


How can Stone Circles support intergenerational queer/radical work? How did it?
USSF/QEJ info to lots of folks - spread info.
Gender Neutral Bathrooms for NCSSM
Connect with QEJ/SONG Durham folks
How public is SPECTRUM in the first days?
BDSM Social Justice Organizing
Look into Bridgette Burge, heirs project
A Queer Ear - lgbtqa orgs, businesses, youth centers and people
Organize Qnotes and other queer mags
Lakewood YMCA?
Talk with GLSEN about a shorter version of Brother Outsider - tell them about what we've been doing with bro-outside at s&m
Triangle Teaching about Oppression Mailing List
SONG Organizing School
Queer Youth Community (iNSIDEoUT, etc)
PANC Training & other Ideas
Human Kindness Foundation - Sita's give-aways, etc?
Revisit cal and mandy coming over in J

Labels: miscellaneous

LGBT Visitor's bureau & qnotes - Another project brainstorm that happened with Mandy in the car ride. What if the Durham visitor's bureau had a clear go-to point for queer friendly businesses? That would be useful AND a source of leverage. If Durham had one, maybe it could eventually go to NC!? Maybe connect with Qnotes (which I guess has merged with frontpage?) Next action: email Mandy to get point of contact at visitor's bureau to email the question to.

Labels: QNotes

Look into MapLink for mapping... - Mandy and I talked about her idea of using MapLink to map her ActNow database of thousands of organizing contacts over the years. My next action is a suspended task to email her in august when I have more time to help her with her database.

iNSIDEoUT - Amy Glaser: taxes, race, tech... - Amy Glaser (of iNSIDEoUT) and I had a good conversation about taxes (incorporating as a nonprofit), race and white privilege in iNSIDEoUT, and technology resources a while back. This week, I didn't do anything on this project. My next action is to follow up at the retreat coming up.

Labels: iNSIDE oUT

NCSSM Environmental Initiatives - This week (yesterday, really) NCSSM alums and awesome folks Matt Ball, Trevor Shannon, and Katie Dektar came over for pizza, hanging out, and wandering through the woods behind my house. In conversation about "getting stuck in jobs you don't really love" this environmental initiative came up, and I showed Katie and Trevor the "Accept the Greener Challenge" pamphlets. When Matt came, since he was involved, it came up again (he's going to build water-harvesting cisterns in Africa starting today, I think, as part of the engineering world health group). I gave Matt a copy of the report to think about. I've set a suspended action on this project to follow up with Matt and the teacher that organized it in a few weeks.

Labels: Katie Dektar, MLK Day at NCSSM, my back yard, pizza

Queer youth concerned adults get together at our place? - Mandy and I, Cal and I, and Sarah and I, on separate occasions, talked about getting triangle adults who care about being allies to queer/lgbt youth together for a chat about what's all going on to get on the same page, potentially for a relaxed get together at our (Sarah&me) house. I'm not really sure what the next step is here: more conversations? There's an iNSIDEoUT retreat coming up, so maybe that'll be a good starting point. Will revisit this project then.

Labels: iNSIDE oUT, sarah kaneko

PA Giving Circle - PANC staff tried to start one of these under a grant a while back, but I don't know if it petered out (weird expression!) or what. Cal likes the idea of doing it again, I do too - another one for lunch this week.

Labels: community projects, PANC Staff

Solicit donation for Jillian's computer for Surge - Since I used to run geek-a-thons at NCSSM, many folks still seek me out to give computers to. Most of them go to Kramden, but since Kramden's started to prefer bulk computer donations of similar models (for obvious refurb reasons), some I give to select nonprofits, etc. Jillian Johnson, rockin' radical mom, helps run a Durham chapter of SURGE. Lauran Whitworth, previous SLI and extraordinaire future art historian grad schooler, donated a nice computer I'm going to refurb and give to Surge. Tjavascript:void(0)his week I got the computer after an email back and forth with Lauran and emailed Jilly to invite her over to my place to pick it up... OR to have me clean it up and install some good free software. Hoping to get rid of it with appropriate peripherals this coming week.

Labels: community projects, Kramden, Soliciting Donations, Surge

Sunday mornings I currently do my weekly review in the GTD system. That's when I get "squeekly clean" with my projects, next actions, and the like. Of course, as with the rest of my life, this is a work in progress - my weekly review is 95% the same week-to-week, but changes from time to time. While later this week I'll highlight exactly How I'm doing it, I'd like to get in the practice of doing a community project run-down. That is, as part of my review, I go through all my next actions to see if they're part of multi-part projects with outcomes I care about...and have committed to - not just "a good idea I'd do if I had an infinite amount of time. I also go the "other direction" - checking my projects to see if each one has a to-do associated with it to kick start it. I'm running down my community projects list currently, so I figured it'd be nice to run-down publicly as the first step to a weekly pattern of checking in on projects. So, here we go.

Labels: community projects

Can a person just email the mayor, just like that? I've always wondered about this sorta thing.

So I'm biking around in downtown Durham, when all of a sudden I see, posted up on a building over some green space, a huge banner with some rockin'historical Black notaries from the civil rights era and previously.  Some really cool names up there, some of which I'd only know about because I took Dr. Iris Carlton LaNey's rockin' class on the History of Social Work in the UNC Master's in Social Work program.

Well, as an aspiring White Anti-Racist dude, I wanted to share my approval of these Black notaries in their rightful place. I'm thinkin'... who should I tell?

So on a whim, I emailed Mayor Bill Bell and the Durham Council. I was always curious whether folks read emails sent to them. I mean, it's not like I can email George Bush and express my ongoing frustrations.

So I drafted a letter and shot it off!



I didn't really expect any responses... but I got three! Councilwoman Diane Cattoti emailed me:

Thanks for writing. Good suggestions.

I'm copying staff that you should be in touch with who are working on a Parrish Street Living History Museum and other projects. Your ideas might mesh nicely.

Best regards,

Diane N. Catotti

...who CCed Alan DeLisle...

Thanks Diane. I will ask Peter Coyle to keep Mike informed about our Public Art project on Parrish St.

...who passed me on to Peter...

Hello Mr. Fliss

I would be happy to meet with you and bring you up to date on the projects with which I?m involved that touch on public art, including the Parrish Street Public Art project and a task force that is working on a proposal for the City and County governments for a long term public art funding, commissioning and approval process. The Duke University Center for Documentary Studies is working on a public art project in partnership with neighborhood leaders. Central Park has a public art project for temporary installations in the park. Both Downtown Durham Incorporated and the Appearance Commission are considering what roles they can play in public art encouragement.

So you raised you question at a good time. Please suggest times, next week or in August, which would be convenient for us to meet.

Peter Coyle
Cultural Master Plan Project Manager
Office of Economic and Workforce Development
City Hall
101 City Hall Plaza
Durham, NC 27701

Cc: Diane Catotti Alan DeLisle

...all within 24 hours of my sending the original message.

I guess my email came at a good time! I'm excited to see where this leads...and to get other heads I respect involved if they're interested.

This reminds me of a brief story. There was a point where I was trying to organize this class training for the MPCs at NCSSM (acronym city: Multicultural Peer Counselors and North Carolina School of Science and Math), and I had this weird vibe about it. I'd emailed mentors and friends of mine I knew who had experience in class trainings: Gita Gulati-Partee, Cal Allen, Courtney Young (no longer with RG), Claudia Horwitz and others. But as things were going... again, I had this weird vibe.

I called Courtney Young, then working with Resource Generation, and she coached me to some realizations. Everything seemed to be going too well, in a sense. I was pulling a lot of weight myself. Acting mostly individually, drawing on huge resources. She made the observation that I'd emailed and gotten responses from some heavy hitters in organizing, quickly. I'd talked about other kinds of "wealth" to use responsibly before: money, access, education, etc. - the book "Classified" is a great way to bone up on that sorta stuff. But I hadn't recognized the power of my network and my ability to call on trainers, organizers, mentors, people with experience. (and incidentally, Claudia facilitated a very moving training that students really appreciated.)

It's very possible anyone can email the mayor and councilors. But, in part, what allows me to feel comfortable doing something like that out of the blue is an entitled feeling of "citizenship" - that this is a thing I can do, that anyone can do. And there's the danger - something I'm reminded of even now when I'm getting involved in this to-be-determined project:

Anyone can't do what I just did in practice, even if it's true "in theory." Not everyone can feel comfortable to drop an organizing letter to the mayor and councilors, even if everyone would get a response. I could name next actions, acknowledge I had a network I'd love to get involved, say I had mentors. My guess is that my network and experience, once again, pulled some weight. Now, I'm excited to be involved, of course... but one more time I should be doing a "responsibility and community accountability" check. Acting alone is dangerous stuff...especially when it works.

Labels: Diane Cattoti, Durham, MPCs, NCSSM, Public Art, Resource Generation

While I think I'll split the consulting page in two, currently some basic examples of webdesign are at the bottom. When browsing through my computer for website info, I found a site I never posted, but designed in flash... in my "insanely happy" time at Duke. That is, there was a particular 6 months of junior year when I was waking up to doing new things, and during that period of time, I designed this insane website. I think, even at the time, part of what was funny and made me smile about it was how over the top the flash was. I mean, daisies that say hello?

It's borderline manic.

But! still a good demonstration of some basic flash skills. I hope folks take it lightly. I do. Gets me to a general point about happiness, actually - there's a line in a sage francis song that is something to the effect of: "this won't necesarily make you happier... but will give you a greater range of emotion." One of the big turn offs for me from folks professing their spirituality (as in, shuts me down to want to ask them questions) is the belief or expectation that to be deeply spiritual means to be non-stop over-the-top happy. I don't think I have an interest in that, actually.

In one of my other online profiles, I mention something about enjoying smiling... but don't prefer it over being appropriately unhappy. I feel I've met some folks that, with great reason, mistrust the seemingly disconnected, fairy-tale-land happiness some folks professing a faith seem to front. Now, don't get me wrong, a lighter, more relaxed, easier-to-enjoy-life attitude may be a consequence of deep spiritual work, certainly. But to the exclusion of other emotions... like a stone-person with a plastic smile?

What's really at stake, to me, with putting on the happy face and attributing the mask to your spiritual life is the attitude of pretending to know what's at the end of the path while you're on it. Now, if you're on the path, and right where you are is happy, great. But who can tell for sure that they're not partly "faking it til they make it?" And nobody with sensitivity trusts a faker... well, except perhaps to trust their being themselves. But trust for the answers some folks suggest they have? Again, no thanks.

Not for me. Anybody else? If so, that's cool - and you might like the website I posted then. Hire me and I'll make you an even happier one, professing your eternal happiness.

peace,mike

Labels: consulting, flash, sage francis, websites

After morning aikido, we loaded Sarah's fit (so tiny!  So Huge!) and Andy Wood's mondo truck with mats for the evening demonstration in Raleigh.  Open Sky was invited to bring folks again...very fun stuff!  

The demo went great.  Lots of adults were there, and even more folks from the kids program.  Highlights of the festival, to me, were excellent Taiko drumming and Bon dancing.  And our demo :-D !  At any rate, I love being part of demos, especially as an uke - folks get all charged up and throw with some extra ummph.

Also, during the festival my bro Tom called to talk some relationship ideas... since he's still processing a previous relationship.  It was somewhat coincidental, since Sarah and I had some good relationship talks in the last few days as well.  One theme I feel is essential in processing relationships is allowing oneself to be "normal."  That seems to come up all the time.  Here's what I mean:

Let's say some crazy stuff happens in the relationship... and you end up "breaking up" (whatever that means, in practice!) with that person.  I feel I've experienced and I've been a friend to others that have experienced wild emotions after the fact, many of which folks might not want to be experiencing: jealousy, anger, deep sadness/despair, etc.  But then there's the self-hostility that sometimes gets let out when we have these cultural norms of "clean breaks."  What is that?  Personally, I've never been able to "stop" feeling for folks.  My feelings have changed over time, and never overnight... but never "stopped."  There are a host of cultural models that relate to relationships I think are Nutso, but for now I'll leave it there.

Also, as is clear (maybe?) I'm still gradually getting into this blog THANG.  Eventually, I'm hoping to concentrate days so each day is a different themed post... but this month I'm just getting used to posting sometimes... and more and more so.  So.  Another successful, rambly post.  

Good thing, to me, setting up a blog and a website is a process.  And I've significantly tamed a lot of my crazy perfectionism, though my old friend is certainly still in this habit mind of mine.  

Anywho, more later as I ramble...I've still mentally got a month of play before I establish a routine!  

peace,mike

Labels: aikido, relationships, sarah kaneko, tom

Since moving into "the house that the dojo built," Sarah and I hadn't had a chance to carpool to Open Sky Aikido together a few miles away at the Boone Shopping Center.  Today, we did!  We started rice before hand so that food would be nearly prepared when we got back (thank you, rice cooker technology).

After class, Sarah Kaneko, Alex Hamer and I were sitting in the back talking about Body Worlds being in Charlotte... when Sarah noticed a wave of water coming out of the back dojo room.  Frantically, we started mopping, laying rags, and called Steve Sensei to let him know our dojo was being quickly flooded from the back.  

See, we're next to this tshirt making place.  Turns out a hose connected to some piece of water pressure equipment bucked off from the machine and started, literally, a nonstop flood of water coming from their side of the barn.  Sarah, Alex and I were chatting almost 40 minutes after class was over - if we weren't there to begin the frantic "bail out the ship that is our dojo(!)," this hose would have quickly filled a few inches of our entire dojo at the rate it was going... since it would have had a full 12 hours to run before folks started coming in.

There's nothing like unplugging refridgerators with your feet in two inches of water.  Well, actually, I got out of the water and stood on the countertops to pull it... but I definitely, inanely, had my hand on the outlet before I realized "hey, I'm standing in water."  I don't want to win any Darwin Awards.  Imagine a fire starting in the dojo because of the water problem... it's not every dojo that can say it simultaneously was flooded away while on fire.  

So, that having been said, the dojo is safe and sound (thanks to mad-dash water scooping and mopping... and a friendly neighborhood emergency plumber/water person who arrived 40 minutes into it with a monster wet vac), Sarah and I came home to some Well-Cooked rice (which we proceeded to turn into yummy giant burritos), and our first "real" night together in the dojo house will proceed, hopefully, much less on emergency mode.

And I'll wash and dry my gi-top, which worked well as a giant wet rag.  Sandbags would have been nice.  

peace,
Mike

Labels: aikido, open sky, sarah kaneko

Exciting, looks like the bulk of the site is working.  Perhaps I can be "official."  

Making a website's a hoot.  My experience of it has been confronting a lot of narcissism and perfectionism.  I'll be using my site, in part, for work related things... but also for telling stories.  What stories?  Well, hopefully ones other folks care about or find food for thought.

Til then, it's a Saturday morning.  I'm in NJ visiting family and friends... enjoyed seeing Maggie (the shore was fun and motivating, thanks again for the invite) and Camille (congrats on your new book coming out!).  Nanny, my grandmother, is still recovering from a knee surgery, so I checked in with her once or twice for company.  Tom's off to teach at kayaking school after a week working for Physical Therapy, and hanging out with Mom's been fun - we had a particular bit of hilarity when she laughingly squirmed under a chair we were trying to take upstairs.  

But at any rate, Saturday morning means Aikido (well, every day means Aikido if all's going well).  I'm sad not to be in Hillsborough, NC, at Open Sky for our morning class (going on right now!) but I'm heading into Philly to train with Donovan Waite Sensei.  Looking forward to it.  

I'll still be working out how to group these posts so there's some order to them, but now, I just need to post something to begin to get in the groove.  So here I am, posting something...

...in the groove.

Labels: aikido, family, mom, nanny, open sky, tom, website