Aiki-Doing

Line rider - to create in an invisible world....

2008-04-26T21:25:00.005-04:00

It's a funny thing how people like to produce art/meaning/excel at....well, almost anything. It's kinda beautiful, actually...though I'd add to that it'd be great to get everyone with what they need to have the leisure time to produce art as they wish. Ending explotation and oppression, let alone providing life basics, are always connected with art I see. Art is obviously produced in that space, but I dunno if I'd say I'm glad suffering exists so all this cool art is produced.

But on the subject of fun, and of fun art, and of seemingly "meaningless but beautiful" things...watch some line rider. :-)

http://www.youtube.com/v/SASjlj5R4U4&hl=en

http://www.youtube.com/v/UYoX47qpoAc&hl=en

amazing, amazing independent games

2008-04-26T12:31:00.004-04:00

Oh my gosh, how beautiful is this? May the most beautifully simple art take over the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsTqspnvAaI

(if you wanna play some, go here for a non-deluxe version. just lines, squares and rectangles and circles, but still wonderful)
http://www.pixelrage.org/downloads/Crayon-Physics-Deluxe-3246.html

Check it out, this guy releases a new game a week. A WEEK.

here's another funny one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4X4foelQJk
http://www.kloonigames.com/blog/games/tafb

also check out world of goo for similarly beautiful stuff.
http://www.2dboy.com/games.php

I'm happy with my (just-finished) last paper of this semester: wanna see?

2008-04-25T13:11:00.006-04:00

Yeah, ok, I'm done. My last paper of the semester, and I'm pleased with it. A touch rambly, but that's a-ok with me. It's an analysis of a project I'm a part of to potentially create some kind of local community-based school for liberation/anti-oppression training and practice in Durham using tools from macro social work which is kinda like community organizing.

I'm particularly happy to have incorporated at least a minor discussion of how measuring program cost-benefit analysis against dollars has big dangers and advocated some crazy stuff, like translating all costs (financial, emotional, etc.) into environmental acreage needed to sustain it and personal life energy expenditures. And then there's the talk about abundance vs. scarcity models. Got some of my favorite new references in there two, including a few movies. Cool.

Anyway, for those interested, feel free to check it out.

Brokennesses of our system. Did clerical errors enable Eve Carson's death?

2008-04-13T20:32:00.003-04:00

insane.

We live in a truly broken world. There's so much in this posting that are unspeakable. I'll name just two things from this story posted on a UNC Masters in Social Work discussion group for a Macro / systems class. You may want to scroll down and read the story first.

First, it shows the impossibleness of creating a system to track our broken system. That is, some way to keep track of the injustice represented by huge numbers of people, particularly black men, in prison - without changing the underlying structures, the way those fucked-up structures manifest finally in tracking people's parole cannot be adequately captured. This is good, actually - although a contributing cause to another person's death. But if it were possible, in a complete and perfect police state, to adequately process paperwork so that people can be captured and disappeared almost 100% effectively (see movie: Brazil), we wouldn't feel the pains of that system. It would be totally anethetized.

But also, on the flipside, how heartwrenching of a sentence is this:
"When Atwater appeared in court March 3 ? two days before Carson was shot to death near the UNC campus ? the date was rescheduled to March 31 because of clerical errors."

The potential meaning of this sentence is that clerical errors enabled the death of a human being. That happens, I'm sure, both when clerical errors enable someone who has/will kill to kill...but also the death of those more "obviously" in need of human services. Seniors, those with mental health struggles, ... many, many people I'm sure (and have heard, and have experienced) are impacted by underkept systems and the consequence ranges, but includes death. Just because of out of date computer systems. Why are fun technology tools available for many meaningless things, but human services which protect people sometimes from death have out of date, ineffective systems? What about our culture allows this?

====

Since this was so prevalent in the news a while ago after Eve Carson's murder, I know many of you have read about this, but I wanted to post it here because of the many macro issues identified in this unfortunate story. I have copied the entire story below, which tells of oversights in the probation systems of Durham and Wake counties where the two suspects lived. I wonder about all sorts of things in the two suspects lives and the unfortunate truth that there are so many more black men in the correctional system.

-Paula, UNC MSW Discussion group

UNC Murder Suspect Was Overlooked by State
Posted: Today at 3:35 p.m.
Updated: Today at 8:26 p.m.
Raleigh, N.C. ? A suspect charged in Eve Carson's homicide was overlooked by the state's probation system and was allowed to remain out of jail for months until his arrest this week in the University of North Carolina student leader's shooting death.

"We did not provide adequate supervision. We did not do things timely," Robert L. Guy, director of the Department of Correction's Division of Community Corrections, said Friday.

Guy has launched an internal investigation to determine what policies were broken and how the oversights could have been detected. It's possible, he said, that some staff members could be fired, based upon what the investigation finds.

In February 2005, Demario James Atwater was convicted in Wake County of felony breaking and entering and larceny. A judge sentenced him to three years' probation. That included nine months of "intensive" probation, which required Atwater to be in contact with a probation officer five times a week ? at least once in person.

It wasn't until last month, on Feb. 20, that he was arrested on a probation violation from June 2007, in which he pleaded guilty in Granville County to possession of a firearm. Paperwork for that violation had been filed in November.

"Why did it take until November to issue the paperwork from June, and why did it take until February to have him actually arrested?" Guy asked.

According to court records, there was no address listed on the arrest warrant issued in November, and authorities didn't know where to find Atwater. His probation officer contacted him in February and arrested him.

Another mistake uncovered by WRAL Friday: Contrary to state probation policy, the oversight of Atwater's parole was never transferred to Durham County, where Atwater lived.

When Atwater appeared in court March 3 ? two days before Carson was shot to death near the UNC campus ? the date was rescheduled to March 31 because of clerical errors.

Atwater and his probation officer appeared in a District Court courtroom, but his file was sent to a Superior Court courtroom where the case was to be heard. When a clerk of court checked his case status in a statewide computer system, it showed the 2005 case had been disposed.

"I don't think you can point to one person and say that they were at fault," Wake County District Attorney Colon Willoughby said. "Much of this is symptomatic of the fact these were non-violent offenses."

The clerk didn't have the information she needed to understand the facts of the case, Willoughby said.

"Our system is very fragile. We don?t have a good information system, and this is a byproduct of it," he said.

Guy said probation officers must periodically search court records on their clients to see if they have violated parole

"I think everybody in the public thinks that we have these automatic red flags in the criminal justice system that when a new crime occurs ? we're automatically notified," Guy said. "Our system's not that good."

Records show about 117,000 convicts are on probation in North Carolina, meaning each of the 2,000 or so probation officers must handle 58 cases.

In 98 percent of cases where someone on probation commits a violent crime, all policies are followed, Guy said.

"In most cases, we've done our best effort, despite the tragedy, but these things do happen. I'm not trying to make light of things," Guy said. "This is a horrible tragedy."
In the case of Atwater, Guy admitted the case should never have gotten to the March 3 court appearance and that his department should have intervened sooner.

"In fairness to Mr. Willoughby and (Wake County Clerk of Superior Court Lorrin) Freeman, he should not have been in Wake County court," Guy said.

But Willoughby and Guy said it's impossible to say whether any of Atwater's criminal acts and alleged criminal acts, including Carson's death, could have been prevented with earlier intervention.

"There are a lot of opportunities along the way for something to have happened, but to be able to look back and say that any one of them would have changed the course of events, it's probably not fair for anyone involved," Willoughby said.

exercise and die a healthier person!

2008-03-23T11:46:00.001-04:00

A quick note.

Some time ago I went to a conference on Alzheimer's...and one of the
pieces of research suggested clearly that one of the best things you can
do for increasing direct and indirect resiliency against Alzheimer's
(apart from not having a certain gene which increases your chances of
getting it) is exercise.

Exercise is good. Personally, I don't like exercising for health's
sake, really (as in "necessary chore" mind). At this point, since I've
been "exercising" (training?) almost daily since I was wee it's just
FUN, a part of my life. I thought I was pretty set on my perspective
about it, but really appreciated a side comment/joke made by someone at
the Alzheimer's conference. During a piece on exercise, the trainer
said, jokingly,

"Exercise...and die a healthier person!"

That's a key line to me. In a world where lots of folks are engaging in
lifestyle activism, eating organic, taking weird pills, it's important
to remember you're STILL gonna die. And, potentially die, in some pain
and sickness. That is, eating well, sleeping on a hypoallergenic
bed...whatever, doesn't mean you're not going to get really sick and
die. Maybe you'll be "lucky" and die in your sleep...but maybe you
won't, in spite of a lifetime of exercise, eating healthy, not smoking,
whatever.

However, I'm not bashing eating healthy, exercise, etc. They've got
great benefits that increase, often dramatically, one's moment to moment
quality of life. That's good! But the idea of it being effective
protection against the vicissitudes of life is just not true.

Whenever someone suggests that I'll live longer and happier engaging in
all this healthy stuff (which I STILL do, for other reasons), I think of
Suzuki Roshi, who just turned 100 and lives on Cold Mountain. I've
heard rumor he's the happiest, most baby-faced person those who met him
have met...after a lifetime of extreme simplicity, a shit-ton (metric)
of just sitting, and probably NOT the fanciest food.

He probably kept a pretty healthy lifestyle, too...but I doubt he used a
lot of moolah and fancy skin products to protect his body against life.
Food for thought, to me.

Boredom rocks (in zazen and relationships), and it isn't boring.

2008-03-16T14:48:00.005-04:00

Fun, I just wrote that while listening to a talk by Brad Warner, and immediately after I wrote it I heard him say "Boredeom is good." Doesn't mean we agree on anything, but cute lil coincidence to start with.

I've been enjoying listening to this podcast by Brad Warner from his visit to Atlanta. I often REALLY enjoy his stuff - and by "enjoy his stuff" I think I'm referring to an experience of positively enjoying and gaining language for my own experience. Not necessarily his language... but it often feels like a good conversation.

So something came up in his talk on his blog I wanted to briefly mention. He chats for some time about boredom's relationship to zen, and references one of his first written pieces for the web as "Zen is boring."

I sit some zazen, still. Previously while sitting (and it still comes up now) I realize I sit with this expectation of sitting's goodness for me. Not only will sitting zazen solve all my problems and insecurities, fix my bad posture and improve my health, I'll concentrate better and improve my relationships...but I'll know that it's happening at the time. I'll recognize the taste of that process while sitting.

Yeah, right.

Instead, my thoughts are often more like: "Is this that magical experience? It doesn't feel like it. It feels like I'm just fucking sitting here. I'm not sitting in some magical way, some enlightened process where I recognize my own enlightenment in the process... I'm sitting all wrong! Instead of sitting "correctly," I'm just fucking sitting here, well, just like I would sit here (how horrible). However that is. Well, how is that again? Oh, I guess that is this. This is it."

Often that experience seems pleasant - somewhere between transitioning "actively" and being transitioned, where I seem to drop off knowing not only whether I'm doing it or it's happening to me, but the difference between the two. I dunno what it's really about.

I've started dating someone (Natasha Salazar, if you know her) recently, and there's a lot of wonderful things about that experience. But I feel, at this point, there's some link between something I'm really enjoying about that experience and something I enjoy (but is not necessarily comforting in the "knowing" sense, sometimes) about zazen. She and I often seem to not know what's going on at all. Everything from "how do we kiss?" to "what will we do when she moves to Florida?" Nearly every sentence, it efels, we're meeting in this place of not knowing. The alternative's interesting: pretending to know, or perhaps more accurately, to just go ahead and "cheat" the depth of the experience and "believe" something, or go with something. "I don't know how to kiss her, so I'm going to go with THIS." Moving away from not-knowing mind...because it's uncomfortable, in a certain sense! I mean, the prospect of dating her intensely for two weeks before she moves to Florida's brings up feelings of "holy crap, this may be BIG missing feelings really soon!" The 'alternatives' to not knowing are many, in a sense...but none of them really appeal to me.

In part, they're not really appealing because, well, they're kinda boring. I mean, she and I "decide" our personalities, our stories, and how we will interact with each other... and they perform those roles, roughly knowing what we're doing...maybe adding or taking away something here or there. Ugh, no thanks. In a sense, though, it seems I'm pretty conditioned, in that it seems I have habits to "cheat" and move away from not knowing.

Knowing is kinda boring, really. Not knowing, but still "having to say/do something," is actually quite empty of idea and enjoyable. I don't mean to suggest that for me the experience dating Natasha is the same as sitting zazen... because, in large part, that would mean I'd be able to put a finger on either of those two experiences, which I have a hard time doing. There something very enjoyable about the funny process of trusting and getting to know each other - and our MILLION differences that in a sense seem to create opportunities of not knowing. And there's a similar feeling in sitting.

What is our relationship "supposed to be" given our situation, our feelings, etc.? What is sitting supposed to feel like, moment to moment, given my experiences, "spiritual ripeness" (whatever the fuck that is), etc.? In either case, pretending to know something would be to assume I could also know a HUGE number of other things... What precisely are my feelings (especially given that they seem to be changing all the time)? What IS our situation, really (especially given that they...you guessed it!)? And how ripe am I and how would I know that?

A fun question to end with, in a very concrete and physical sense: How long can you kiss someone with a mind of "not knowing how" before you settle on "like THIS?" How long can you sit zazen with a mind that doesn't settle on a boxed description and plan? Quantity of time is a kinda ridiculous question in a lot of ways... but it seems very interesting and full of meaning as a lens to point out how I can become "dissatisfied": seemingly by experiencing life through a series of plans and good ideas about the next moment or next year, carrying the plans with a mind that purports to know, and then comparing where I am/will be with my idea of where I am.

Not knowing, moment after moment, often has a flavor for me of ... deep, gross and unexpected like forever digging in really fertile soil as it teems with life.

The newest "entertaining" story or plan about life never seems to taste as good as the newest, living, unboxable moment.

How to end someone's homelessness in one week...?

2008-03-08T19:22:00.005-05:00

Provacative title, but Erik Daubert is a provocative person.

Friend and mentor Calvin Allen was the executive director for Public Allies when I was an ally, and is now currently of SRDI hailings. I worked with Cal as an ally, then as an alumni in fundraising drive from alumni of the program. Through him I met Erik Daubert and had the luck to work with him in his direction of the initiative. He also lead the training on fundraising given to allies that year... so I had the blessing of hearing a seasoned fundraiser for the triangle YMCAs describe fundraising theory.

Here's an email - one from Erik, one from Cal, and one from me - that explains this project. There's one day left in it, so we'll see where it goes... but it's a fascinating possibility, especially as someone in social work grad school who works with folks who do this for a living. A week turn-around might not be possible with everyone...but what if it were? Can homeless be ended like this? Personally, I don't think so... but I think it's ESSENTIAL for communities to actively try like this. This project is a joint one of Genesis Home and Erik.

So here's some emails.

My email:

Erik, Cal, (Sarah,)

Erik, you once told me something that changed me significantly. In a conversation about fundraising at PANC, I don't know how it came up... but I think you said something offhand to this effect: if you can't even raise $1 from people who benefit from a program's services, you have a serious problem. Also, you impressed on me the importance of fund raising as a community building activity - a chance to reconnect people with a program's mission, a chance to get much needed feedback, to build relationships between people. Knowing you REALLY helped me add important language for community work I've used with MANY people to talk about community building.

I don't know all of what you're doing here. Part of me wants to know where the money's going, questions sustainability, etc. As someone in social work school, I have professional acquaintances that are supposed to do this as their jobs. To do it in a week blitz seems impossible.

But I believe you in. I'll give $100, and whatever other strength's I can spare toward the event (what's the situation?). Tell me where to send it.

peace,mike

PS And I miss you both, on the side. :-) Erik, did you do the fundraising training for PANC this year? If you have time, do you have interest this year... or if not this year, can you next year? I've been organizing some trainings for them because I care DEEPLY about certain values, and getting this email from you touched some sensitive and important values to me around training about community work - specifically the importance of measuring investment in community's served (even if, literally, folks being served are homeless - the ask is ESSENTIAL - $.50 from everyone still MEANS something and DOES something).

I'm CCing Sarah Kaneko who knows of the Genesis Home as well. Sarah, if you know anyone who might be interested in this, please feel free to forward.

...in my response to Cal Allen's:

Hey Friends-

I'm asking for your help to assist a family, prove the power of community, and to help my bold friend, Erik.

Erik Daubert is a great friend I've known since 1994. My Public Allies friends know him as "my friend who is the best fundraiser I've ever met --" and he is. I know him as a human of tremendous heart and love for action. Erik likes challenges, and he's taken on a big one this week.

While watching "Oprah's Big Give," her new reality show where people have to give away money, Erik thought "why can't a person do this without a million dollars in a week?" So, he went to a local nonprofit for homeless families, asked them to recommend a family for support, and Erik is attempting to find them long-term housing, jobs, and vital things they need -- IN A WEEK, or as close to it as possible.
He's found possible long-term housing on the busline and is working on down payments, etc. He's found a donor willing to match other donations. He's even got leads on jobs. He's working on long-term solutions, not just short-term support.

While I know this is about the family, I have to mention that Erik has full-time work that usually takes him out of town for weeks, so he's also giving a tremendous gift of time.

One of the reasons I will give money, time, and treasure to this is that this is a way of proving that we don't have to have homelessness in the US. We have the resources, we just don't have a system for supporting long-term equitable distribution and supporting ALL our people in all the ways that matter.
Can a community really help move a family out of homelessness in close to 7 days?
If you have time, talent, or treasure to offer, read Erik's specifics below and give as you can.
Thanks!
Calvin

...which was in response to Erik Daubert's email:

Cal ?

I don?t know if you had a chance to watch ?Oprah?s Big Give? on
Sunday but if you did, you will see aspects of that show?s concept
in the email below. Feel free to forward this as appropriate to any
network you have if you are willing to play along J Let?s talk SOON!

This is one of my effort?s to change the world this year. Know that
I appreciate you very much and thank you for all that you are doing
to make the world a better place! *It has been a fascinating
experience for me thus far working on this project?but I need your
help to make it work?thanks for anything that you can do **J***

* *

*3.5 million people will experience homelessness in a given year ?
About 41 percent of homeless were families *

IMAGINE raising YOUR family without a home or in a homeless
shelter. It is not something that any of us want or hopefully will
ever have to think about.

*This week, I am working with ONE FAMILY who is homeless but with
your help, I plan to change that and have them set up with a
permanent residence by Sunday. *(I have been working on this for a
couple of days now?)
I plan to take a mother (43% of the homeless population are women)
and her four children under the age of 11 (1.35 million of the
homeless population are children) and set them up for permanent
housing by Sunday evening. The mother is a hard working (25% of the
homeless nationwide are employed) victim of domestic violence (22%
of homeless women claim domestic abuse as reason for homelessness)
who is just trying to make a hard equation work. She has fallen on
hard times and needs someone to pick her and her four children up so
that they can get back into something that they can afford that is
safe for her and her children. (Children under the age of 18 make up
39% of the homeless population. 42% of these are under the age of 5.)

I am working with a shelter who hand picked THIS FAMILY as one
deserving of a hand up out of all of the families they are currently
serving. This is a woman who is working hard (full time - 40 hours
a week hard?) to try to give her children a better life. When I
interviewed her to identify wants and needs, her list was so simple,
it was almost embarrassing. A safe place to live?A training potty
for her 18 month old child?safe and affordable day care for her
children?educational toys for her children?_ _They have been
homeless for about eight months?_ I am going to get this family a
place to live by Sunday night._

Here is where I am so far. I have a donor who will match everything
that I raise in pledges and/or contributions by Sunday. I have
located housing in a good school system and on a bus route so that
she can go to work and her kids can go to good schools.
I NEED YOUR HELP TO make this work?I NEED YOU TO GIVE WHAT YOU CAN
(that feels good J) knowing that this money will be managed by a 501
c 3 charity (The Genesis Home) and put into action to help this
needy family. I NEED YOU TO _PLEDGE_ AN AMOUNT TO HELP ME HELP THIS
FAMILY...and I NEED the pledge BY SUNDAY IF AT ALL POSSIBLE - that
will help with the match! Pledge $50 or MORE IF YOU CAN knowing you
are taking four kids and getting them out of the plight of
homelessness and into a neighborhood where they can survive and
thrive. All contributions are so appreciated and are fully tax
deductible. THANK YOU for anything that you can do!

Erik J. Daubert MBA, ACFRE

Financial Development Consultant

YMCA of the USA

Bottled Water Sucks.

2008-03-08T11:57:00.003-05:00

the part that gets me is this. It's like gentrification, in a sense: stop advocating and giving a shit for the safety of tap water in communities, and that water's safety will go down the drain (ha). Individuals who can't then PAY to have water - which, given scientific and infrastructure resources should be a right at this point in humanity - get stuck with the environmentally dangerous stuff. That's going to be historically marginalized, less powerful groups - like people of color or working class communities - that bear the burden of a water system that the folks with money and power don't give a shit about. It's like public vs. private education, or any other resource...it comes down to how much we care about access for ALL and act on that, or pull interest because the wealthy folks with little concern about environmental (etc) impact are enabled to by their privilege.

I wouldn't advocate chastising people for not understanding how privilege and bottled water connect, but I would certainly advocate for education and action when possible. "Lifestyle activism is not enough" in my mind - advocate for clean water in your town! Heck, build a well if you have the resources! I think technically this could be termed a kind of "environmental racism" if you check out the definitions used in that movement's work.

Anybody seen Total Recall? It's going to be like that with air, eventually, if folks don't spread understanding of how systems disenfranchise folks. (in Total Recall, on Mars, clean air was at a shortage because of a similar dynamic of rich folks not giving a shit about sustainability, but being able to buy their survival during broken systems. They made everyone pay for air (which, scientifically, could have been given to all as a right in that world), and districts that couldn't pay got their air pulled. Then Arnold's eyes popped out. :-)

A hilarious Penn & Teller BULLSHIT on bottled water
http://youtube.com/watch?v=XfPAjUvvnIc

Bottled Water Taxes...
http://sustainablog.org/2008/01/08/groundbreaking-bottled-water-tax-raises-dustup-in-chicago/

Good programming and community organizing follow a similar principle...

2008-03-01T19:17:00.004-05:00

With all the community change literature I've been reading for my macro social work class, it's hard not to see whatever I read within that lens. Well, that, and ultimately I think I read almost everything and wonder how it applies to Buddhism, Aikido or Social Justice. So on reading one of my favorite technical blogs, Coding Horror, I found an exact parallel to creating good social work interventions and programs: UsWare.

http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/archives/001066.html

The gist of it is that it's always best to get input from others at a huge level...and ideally, create programming that folks can use together so there's vested interested in the creators as well as the consumers. Check out the post, and think about neighborhood organizing. Might be food for thought.

Queers! Don't Misuse Sex! - blogpost by one of my fav zen teachers

2008-02-26T02:48:00.000-05:00

Hey, here's an article I really enjoyed much of by one of my favorite
authors and zen teachers, Brad Warner. I love the precepts, and I love
lgbt communities, and spiritual practice/social justice lines together.
Check it out if you're interested.

You're going to have to navigate to a "porny" site for the article.
Fair warning, in case you... well, wouldn't want to.

http://suicidegirls.com/news/culture/23007/

"One of the biggest hurdles for anyone of non-standard sexual
orientation interested in Buddhist practice is the Buddhist precept of
not misusing sexuality. Just for reference to those of you who may not
know, in Zen Buddhism there are ten precepts, or standards of moral
behavior, which are:

1) Not to kill 2) Not to steal 3) Not to misuse sexuality 4) Not to lie
5) Not to cloud the mind with intoxicants 6) Not to criticize others 7)
Not to be proud of oneself and slander others 8) Not to covet 9) Not to
give way to anger and 10) Not to slander Buddha, Buddhist teachings or
the Buddhist community.

Other forms of Buddhism have somewhat different precepts. But the first
five are more-or-less standard throughout most forms of Buddhism.

People who are of variously "queer" sexual orientations ? gay, lesbian,
bisexual, transgender, BDSM and so on ? are often especially troubled
when they find out that as Buddhists they should not misuse sexuality.
Given what we usually hear from teachers of our own Western religious
traditions, it's easy to imagine that anything outside of strictly
vanilla, monogamous, one-on-one heterosexual relations in the standard
missionary position might constitute a misuse of sexuality in the eyes
of religious authority. And, unfortunately, there are those in the
Buddhist community, including some of its teachers, who do seem to hold
something akin to this belief.

..."

Do you do ANY community work of any sort? Know your ABCDs.

2008-02-25T07:36:00.001-05:00

I'm in a pretty good Masters in Social Work "macro" class (the social work version of community organizing - activating folks for change, basically). The teacher's great, the conversations are pretty good...and the readings are consistently great.

Social Workers at UNC hear "use a strengths-based approach, not a needs�or deficient based approach" enough to make it ring in our ears. That's a good thing. But we've gotten very few actually tools (well, to this point - maybe cuz I'm only half-way through?) to practice that. This week we got one of our first, and I'm a fan. If you do community work, this is a good "checklist" to help you brainstorm assets.

The folks at Northwestern are somewhat famous for their program and theory of ABCD: Asset-Based Community Development. Public Allies (alum '04 baby!) uses this model very explicitly in their community organizing work, so I became familiar with Northwestern then. I'm sure it's not new to them (though perhaps the term is), but it's good stuff nonetheless.

If you do community work - which I define loosely as anything from volunteering, organizing, even working in your neighborhood - I highly recommend a quick peruse of this. If you are explicitly involved in defining or deploying projects that impact communities positively (you hope! they hope!), definitely check it out as a FREE PUBLICATION from the ABCD institute at Northwestern:

http://www.sesp.northwestern.edu/images/kelloggabcd.pdf

Use the (ABCD) force, and use it wisely!

A lil' blogger system in Thunderbird for the tech savvy.

2008-02-24T20:32:00.001-05:00

This is fun!

So I was tired of some weird blogger errors with mysterious characters, logging in took too long ("took too" looks weird, huh? anyway), and I like to do things I do a LOT in a few character strokes. I love autohotkey: http://www.autohotkey.com/ (warning, not for n00bs! lol). I use it every single day, all the time. So that creating a new categorized task (GTD "Next Action"), a waiting for with a reminder date, whatever is a single key stroke.

For blogging, I'm using this:

;============BLOG EMAIL==================
#b::
Run C:\Program Files\Mozilla Thunderbird\thunderbird.exe -compose
Sleep 600 ;cuz Thunderbird doesn't always catch keystrokes on start-up
Send !rmm{Tab}{Tab} ;specific to the number of accounts I have, obviously (heh, obviously if you read autohotkey script! lol)
Send aspiringbodhisattva.secretword@blogger.com
Send {Tab}{Tab}{PgUp}{enter}{#}end{PgUp}
;Send ^a
Send !s
return

To give me my correct sending smtp account, my secret sending account (not "secretword", but you get it), the termination set so it doesn't pick up my signature, and set me back on the subject. I like it, though you'd have to modify it obviously.

I also added blogger.com to my "text only" domains, cuz I was tired of the weird formatting. Not great for links, but I'll just post 'em in like I did with the autohotkey link.

And if you DO use blogger and you've got weird stuff in your text, try this: http://www.stevemiller.net/puretext/ . I love it.

A test of my new blog system: questions

2008-02-24T20:03:00.002-05:00

So I've set up a macro on my computer to make writing a blog a 1-step process for me. Just press it and start typing, then press another key stroke and it's sent to the blog. No more logging in and toolin' around. I hope this'll make me more likely to do it.

I've been thinking about posting questions every once in a while. Questions of a specific flavor, actually. This statement came to my mind (after a thought train) when I was sitting in a class on internalizing racist inferiority or supremacy:

Questions point to an experience people have had, but haven't named themselves (because they hadn't a language yet, mental space, etc.) are very, very powerful. In essence, questions that name the already existing question of "what is this?" are a spiritual practice and good for community...especially in a culture that emphasizing knowing IMMEDIATELY with no effort and an unwillingness to hold not-knowing. (and at this point I laughed at how quickly KNOWING that came to me. lol)

And here's the first, out of a conversation with Dana Turner, a rockin' person in NY who's becoming even awesomer.

"If you were the kind of person that really, really liked yourself and was happy with what you'd been involved in in your life (like you took time to go do all the awesome things you might be putting off), how much cooler would that make you to people who ALREADY think you're cool? What would your honoring your interests deeply do for them and their ability to be more that way themselves? What would that do for community?"

Well?

On being really sick.

2008-02-22T19:42:00.003-05:00

Apart from "ugh, this feels horrible," there's not a lot for me to DO when I feels sick. And when I've got a case of flu in the top three worst sickness of my life to date, there really nothing to do apart from wondering if I can drink water without vomiting. Well, that and think, between "ugh, this feels horrible."

So yesterday I managed to somehow get Really, really sick. I found my thoughts entertaining though, and wonder what it's like for other folks to get sick.

A part of me was concerned about becoming so sick and dehydrated than I'd have to go to the hospital in some way. After violently vomiting for the 8th time in 6 hours, clearly unable to keep water, I was, well, a bit concerned. See, I don't have insurance at this point - haven't for about 6 months now - and generally keep really healthy. I've a number of social justice minded folks that don't keep insurance, and certainly can see both sides of the issue there... but regardless, I don't. I probably could afford it... but again, I didn't have it. That reminded me of an important article on classism (a fun thought to have while vomiting) called "can't afford to get sick." I knew I'd probably skip my grad classes friday morning, reschedule hanging out with friends, and reschedule or say I can't attend the community meetings I was going to attend today. And if I had a more traditional "job", I'd probably be able to call in sick.

But not everybody can reliably do that. Some folks, especially with lower paying jobs, with no health insurance available or affordable, can't afford to get sick the way I can (and am). It's a lucky spot to be in, and I have responsibilities associated with being in that spot (this as I was dry vomiting into the toilet).

Another thought I had - isn't the body amazing!? Some of my upper core muscles actually developed cramps from all the throwing up, so that they just seized up and added to the queasiness. After vomit number 7 or so, I had this strong feeling of needing to do some full body chanting to kinda vibrate some of the tension out. I hadn't really been able to speak for hours without throwing up, but pushed through a round of "om" and "gam" for about ten minutes, then a loud chant from Ashtanga yoga, then sat on my cushion and paced a very loud and vigorous heart sutra. For me, loud chanting really vibrates my core... I threw up pretty soon after that for the last time, and have been at least able to walk around and talk yesterday. The chanting seemed to generate a dramatically different kind of energy than I had had to that point,particularly adding some specific aikido body relaxing techniques that helped concentrate the vibrating feeling in my body like really relaxing my "outside" - stuff I'm still learning myself, but specifically the idea that the outside must hold shape, but not be rigid to let ki flow out. In a less airy sounding sense, stiff muscles retard internal muscle movement flow and connectness. Just like it would be hard to breath with a stiff stomach and shoulders (or a cramped diaphragm, in my case last night), moving intentionality and muscle energy through the body to translate it into someone else takes a certain kind of relation as well. Anyway, those practices (not perfections, for me, but things I practice) were really helpful to "shake out" some of the flat-out dead feeling I had from throwing up so much.

More on the subject of the amazing-ness of the body, as well - vomiting (as well as chanting) is pretty amazing. The body really takes over and realigns the musculature to push things out. I'm pretty body aware, so my body and I had a very intentional "conversation" about me trying to breath, and it trying to vomit, using very specific tensions and relaxations to communicate. Fascinating! And Really Really crappy, but still interesting.

Also, it's nice to have friends. Steve & Jesse have both been very helpful, as has Sarah. Being sick by yourself would be much more difficult.

Also again, with the kind of sick that I was last night, I can see how a violent flu can be deadly dangerous to seniors. Doing work with aging issues this year definitely has brought that population (which I may be of someday!) to my mind more often... which is good! Until this year, when I'm sick I haven't thought about older folks and how dangerous illness can be. That's telling in a more general sense: without experience, contexts that SHOULD "ring a bell" reminding you of other people's experiences don't. If you don't have any experience with folks who have physical disabilities, you're not going to think twice or appreciate being able to do something like walk to the phone, or reach a high shelf. Knowing intimately and valuing as essential each other's experiences allows the mind to see the wider contextS (plural!) that all situations represent. A dark street is dark to me... but is moreso a dangerous, potential sexual assault context to many women. Not that it isn't dangerous to men, but that the context has a special particular meaning for many individuals from one group in a very different way to another.

And if that isn't a reason for democratic, diverse leadership, I don't know what is. A powerful, simple comic I really like had a cartooned George Bush and a bunch of men signing an abortion bad treaty. No women involved. Either that's because those men understand women's issues around abortion and choice deeply at the same level as women (doubtful), or they feel there is nothing to be gained from the perspective of those women and their perspective on abortion is enough to make a "right" decision.

And actually, I think there's a third aspect, also on my mind. I think many folks feel that situations aren't essentially experienced based on perspective, but exist inherently, instead. In essence, this is an aspect of the core Buddhist teaching of emptiness - situations (and people, things, etc) are devoid of any inherently existing "self" apart from karmically determined perception of it. Knowing this deeply, if you value the lives and experiences of others (and yourself), making good decisions means doing so in a way that accountable to the experiences (and perceptions) of many. To me, that can actually help sidestep some of the karmic conditioning of being only one person and making less than great decisions based on that. Collectivity, diversity, and valuing an intimacy with each other's experience can really can help protect all of us, to me.

Lastly, having not felt this horribly in a long time, I actually went through some significant life-review. While feeling horrible and chanting the heart sutra, I had this strong feeling of needing to recommit to my practices and training, recommit to those things I value. While distractingly sick, it would be hard to practice. As the lines in the Bodhicaryavatara say, this moment is a precious opportunity. Here as a human, particular a human with the temporary privileges of health, means to practice, enough time for meaning in my life... I would be short-sighted to put off practices I can only do when healthy, etc. One day I'll be dead - and before that I may be incapacitatingly sick as I was yesterday... or just distractingly unable to eat, queasy, light-headed, etc. as I am now. Truly, the moment of opportunity for meaningful activity when we are capable is so precious in the light of illness or other inevitable and incapaciting things.

Still sick and these things are on my still mind.

Calculating my Overextension

2008-02-12T22:43:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I have to prove to myself I'm doing too much. :-) Here's a good way for me to do that.

I was motivated by this question, in a few forms: what would it take (how much time) to do a SOLID job with all my commitments, per week? So, if a project is due in two months and will take 8 hours, that's about 30 min/wk... etc. If I totaled all those per week, is that possible? What HAVE I committed to?

I started with this estimate:

I wake up around 6 or 7 sleeping in at this point (but have gone through VERY late morning times...), and go to bed around 10 or 11. That's 16 hours about per day, or 112 hrs/wk (hereafter h/w).

Now I'm totaling my project categories, which are roughly my areas of responsibility. Here's that layout.
(nice that it's SO easy to do, since I have an up to date - well, at about 95% - project list!)

[project list as of Feb 12]

That gives me about this:

_	4
_Aiki-Doing	9
_Aiki-Doing Radar	1
_Basic Personal Stuff	16
_Body Training	26
_Community Engagement	4
_Community Radar	1
_Education	14
_Family	2
_Friends	4
_Home	2
_Homework	3
_Magic	5
_SAS	16
_Zen	7

	114

114 hours per week to do my commitments well. That would mean I'd have to work on SOMETHING or "be productive" from 6am to 10pm with no breathers and then find two more hours. I shouldn't be surprised that sometimes I feel behind in an area! lol. Time to cut back. And some of these things are going to INCREASE, not decrease - when the Beyond Belief magic show starts up in earnest, practice times plus show times are going to be around 20 hours per week. I'll be cutting out some aikido...

Oh, and here's how I did my calculations, which I consider important. Whatever it takes to do the project is included. So, for instance, body training includes my aikido classes and teaching, as well as my yoga cross training twice a week and my tai chi practice. It ALSO includes transportation and getting ready time - the REAL numbers.

And it turns out I'm doing too much. lol. Time to make some adjustments!

Do you have an updated full project list? Could you group them by areas of responsibility and tell if you're having to shortchange things because of your commitments? This isn't the only way to do it, of course (a lil' thing called intuition would do, too!), but sometimes having numbers helps job the mind with what you are and aren't spending wherever. That sentence made a WHOLE lotta sense, I'm sure! :-)

My friend helped graffiti the Washington Monument (w/ pics)

2008-01-30T22:41:00.001-05:00

I love Amy Faulring.

We met in college through a circle of wonderful socially radical folks (many of which have gotten radicaler. Which is a rockin' word) and dated for some time. I remember the first email she sent about her exciting and proud arrest as part of GreenPeace. Now I got this one. Check the links for some Really cool photos of the Washington phallic monument.

And "graffiti" isn't really the right word. Strategically and creatively liberate. lol.

PS Check out the billboard liberation front for more creative uses of existing structure for social justice pro-community messaging idears. http://www.billboardliberation.com/

====

Hi folks,
Just wanted to share with you a little project I was involved with on the
national mall last night.  About 60 GP activists successfully blocked the
massive flood lights and projected an image on the national monument calling
out the US inaction on global warming.  Luckily, no arrests (and I was not
in an arrestable position as I'm on probation until november).

It was hella fun & we have some great images!

In between giving our truck a few citations, the police pulled out their
personal cell phones and snapped some photos.   :-) 

Enjoy!
Amy


Photos are available
at:http://usaphoto.greenpeace.org/wash_monument_01_29_08/

For Immediate Release                    January 29, 2008

GREENPEACE TURNS NATION�S MOST ICONIC LANDMARK INTO MEMORIAL TO
FAILED BUSH LEGACY ON CLIMATE
Bush Plan Portrayed as a Disaster on Eve of U.S-Led Climate Change
Meeting

WASHINGTON� Responding to the Bush administration�s continued
obstruction of international efforts to address global warming,
Greenpeace activists turned one of the nation�s most iconic symbols
into a memorial to Bush�s failed legacy on climate change.
Greenpeace projected on the Washington Monument the message: U.S.
Global Warming Plan: Hell and High Water accompanied by an image
depicting rising sea levels at the base, a predicted consequence of
global warming.

"President Bush�s policies on global warming are a disaster,� said
John Coequyt, energy policy analyst at Greenpeace USA. �His
international meeting on climate change in Hawaii slated to begin
tomorrow is a rogue process to deflect attention from the
administration�s insistence to maintain America�s dependence on
dirty and dangerous energy sources while failing to address the
growing climate crisis. As the Washington monument has long outlived
the president it was built to honor, so too will Bush�s legacy on
climate change stand as a memorial to his neglect, obstruction and
destruction.�

Greenpeace�s projection served to call attention to Bush�s global
warming policies a day after his State of the Union address and on
the eve of Bush�s international meeting of the world�s largest
emitters of global warming pollution, called the �Major Economies
Meeting,� which takes place in Hawaii on Wednesday and Thursday.

After being roundly rebuked in December in Bali at the UN�s
International Conference on Climate Change, the Bush administration
continues to push its alternative Major Economies process that seeks
to replace the Kyoto Protocol�s legally binding emissions reduction
targets with a completely inadequate voluntary approach.  �If the
President were serious about leading on climate change, he would
stop obstructing the U.N.�s process and endorse a cap on U.S.
greenhouse gas emissions,� Coequyt said. The United States stands
completely isolated as the only industrialized country on the planet
not to ratify the Kyoto Protocol.

�The Bush administration continues to push a climate-destroying
agenda and to obstruct all meaningful efforts to address global
warming by the international community,� said Daniel Mittler of
Greenpeace International. �Its role was so negative at the global
negotiations on climate change in Bali last month that the U.S.
delegates were literally booed by other participants. It was a
stunning and well-deserved rebuke. This meeting is a charade and has
no legitimacy at all.�

Greenpeace is calling on the countries attending the meeting to
maintain their commitments to substantive action under the Kyoto
Protocol. Participating countries include: Japan, France, Germany,
Italy, the United Kingdom, China, Canada, India, Brazil, South
Korea, Mexico, Russia, Australia, Indonesia, and South Africa, as
well as the United Nations, the EU Presidency and the EU Commission.

CONTACT: Jane Kochersperger, Media Officer Greenpeace USA, +1 202
680 3798 cell
John Coequyt, Greenpeace USA energy campaign, +1 202 669 7060
Daniel Mittler,Greenpeace International Policy Advisor, +1 49 171
876 53 45
Photos are available
at:http://usaphoto.greenpeace.org/wash_monument_01_29_08/
Notes: A major emitters briefing memo is available upon request. For
further information on the outcome of the Bali negotiations, go to:
www.greenpeace.org/bali-meeting

Social workers discuss ideal job characteristics

2008-01-20T10:58:00.000-05:00

Cool. Last Friday in my macro social work class (organizations and groups - basically a community organizing type class) our intro activity was to tell the prof our name and one or two aspects of our ideal job. I went first and realized I cared much more about what other folks were going to say than saying my piece - which is a great place to be. I quickly whipped out a pen and took notes.

So, this list is provided as is. It's a powerful checklist not just for getting a new job... but advocating for changes for whatever you're already doing to make it more sustainable as an activity. Some of these things seem to contradict and some are duplicates, but again: as is.

I've seen lists like this in the past...but as a list created entirely by helping professionals, I thought it might be interesting. For me, as someone that wants to do program management (really, I want the executive director position of a PA site, preferrably PANC... very specific!), this would be a great checklist to measure how a job is doing at providing culture for staff.

Without further ado, the list.

The work is values driven, everything from projects to menial tasks. Everything done connects clearly (or can be connected) with the answer to the question : how is this an important action that fit my values and the organization's values?
It's local and bikable/walkable... it's almost neighborhood work.
(1) There's little bureaucracy and (2) measurement of outcomes to improve meaningful services is joyfully participated in vs. used as impossible to meet expectations to measuring how lacking everyone is.
Flexible work schedule to allow for necessary personal life commitments
Comfortable pay - not too high (unethically so, money begins to complicate life), not too low (basics to life comfortably with a balance of occasional fun purchase).
Dynamic job with a great deal of self-determination in both what gets done and how to do it within the team context - individual values are valued.
(1) No random hours, like working 9-10, then 6-8, then...etc. If you're "working 8 hours", it's an efficient 8 hours - no huge and repetitious commutes or transition times that make working 8 hours have a 14 hour toll on your personal life (2) Working directly with folks served.
(1) Be challenged and (2) to reach someone and make a meaningful benefit
(1) Goals for job are actually achievable or "winnable. (2) Everyone in the organization, from clients/consumers to staff to community members has a voice, a say in what's being done and how it's being done.
Variety! Working independently and as a team.
(1) Have a personal voice in the organization. (2) Make a visible difference in the eyes of consumers and staff.
(1) Flexible and challenging. (2) Client's issues come first, billing comes second.
(1) Collaboration with a team. (2) Keeping the client/consumer at the core.
(1) There's time for reading and reflection, and that time isn't frowned on but given value. (2) Listening is appreciated as well.
Opportunities to learn from colleagues, make a difference and advance in the job.
More dialog with decision makers so up and down are connected.
(1) Make a difference and (2) Personal life and job are balanced.
Co-workers and self have a passion to do the job.
Flexible schedule and flexible in how to get things done (self-determination).
You can SEE the impact you're making.
Flexible in what you do during the day, not just non-stop routine and schedule.
Be one's own boss - make what you want to happen happen.
(1) Strong leadership and (2) agency security.
(1) New ideas are respected and (2) You know you're making a difference
You've got time w/ family... you can work from home or at a distance sometimes.
It doesn't overwhelm you.
Your supervisor's available (but not micromanaging).
Leadership has clear communication.
You can advocate for yourself AND your clients/consumers.
There' s a line between work and life... work does not EQUAL life. (other folks felt otherwise.)

GTD: My Implementation part 3: Organize through Views

2008-01-19T19:38:00.000-05:00

Continuing with the GTD theme, here's how I organize. Though I think I covered "organize" somewhat in the previous process post, here's a recap: I've got a buncha lists. :-) Besides lists, I've the requisite files (one sheet of paper = one file), online and offline... but once it's all procesed into the system I use an organized way of seeing what I've able to do. Here's where my views come in.

Outlook: Customized Views

I love how easy it is to customize outlook's views (or I wouldn't be using it anymore. Well, there's syncin', too). Calendar-wise, I like to have a quick view of whether I'm gettting a balance in my areas of responsibility, so I color code them based on category. Some quick hotkeys get them set up, so it's pretty painless. Here's what I use for my calendar:

And here's what I use for my tasks:

This nabs me some really nice views when I'm at my computer, which is where I do my processing thanks to some rockin' autohotkey help. Basically, I don't want to have to touch my mouse for processing... MAYBE if I'm scheduling a meeting, but even then, as little as possible.

That brings me to my PDA, a used Dell Axim x30 gotten through the wonders of eBay. I've assigned the message key to Agenda Fusion (SUCH a great program)'s task view... one of the few views I really benefit from in that program since it's a touch slower than the native handling of tasks.

And home is also tricked out a touch using TasksPlus. Free and worth every penny.

Think that's about it! This system's great for me, since I'm a happy tech user, but fast enough that it gets the heck out of the way when I want to get things done.

Things in a closet: zen/gtd in a nutshell

2008-01-02T13:23:00.000-05:00

A quickie post while I get my next GTD post together...

For the bulk of my mom's bday present in Dec, my brother and I installed a new closet organizer in the very messy laundry room. While I was cleaning it out, I took stock of what was in there. That's because I follow a pretty straightforward cleaning scheme. See, I like to clean once, and know I won't really have to do it again. To get that feeling of satisfaction, my process uses a few motivating questions to create lists of things and spaces.

First: what does the space look like right now? what is being put where and why?
This means taking stock of, for instance, the flat spaces and what's being put there. What's on the floor? Here you'd create the initial lists of things that are currently being put in the space and the various subspaces. In this laundry room's case, I've got the list at the end.

Next: Take everything out of the spaces and put similar things together.
This gets me to a principle I believe is very important. I don't think people make bad decisions about stuff or other things; I think people (including myself) make the best decisions they can given their perspective. So if you see a few shoes here and there, not knowing you have 30 or 40 pairs of shoes in various spots, you won't make a decision about buying another pair of shoes with the real deep truth of the experience of owning another pair. And that goes for seeing deeply into what you see: seeing the origin of the object, its maintenance costs, and its disposal costs - for you and for others. Seeing the full lifespan costs (physically, emotionally, etc.) of the thing is essential for good decision making.

Last: match spaces and collections by creating intelligent systems that would keep the previous mess from occurring because the system would be easier than not doing it.
It's like the 1 minute filing rule (30 seconds, to me) in GTD. It should be easier to file the thing than not. With very little forward thinking, by comparing the small, systematized/ritualized action to the haphazard tossing of something you should come up with the system each time.

Really, Really Last: See it from all altitudes.
This isn't really about cleaning a space, per se, but more about an attitude to bring to than and other things. Let's say you're making decisions about systems for your shoes... or rubber bands or something. At some point, your OCD warning flag should go off if you're spending too much of your life energy trying to maintain something of little importance. Perhaps it's better to simplify. That doesn't mean, to me, shirk responsibility for the things you have (everything from paper clips to family and friends, seriously); it means acknowledging the cost of the thing and asking deeply whether it's worth it. Hopefully, everything you are willing to touch should be worth it. But no body wants the poetic "life measured in coffee spoons." Donate the coffee spoons, my god. I DO have a place for rubber bands, for instance. But I just toss them in particular corner of my office supply drawer - precisely, but not too precisely. I'm not going to realistically unroll some ziplock bag and put them in. If I get too many of them for my system, I should evaluate why the hell I'm having to deal with this many things. There's a balance between caring too little and not taking responsibility and caring too much and being tunnel visioned. If you were maintaining a zen garden, you might rake your stone walk carefully and lovingly...but you'd probably not get down on your hands and knees and place pebbles with your hands. You've got trees to trim, leaves to rake, food to prepare! Get a life! But not much of a life that you don't care for the thing. The way you care for anything, to me, is the way you care for everything. This would apply to thinking deeply about the green origins of your owned things, your social justice commitments, whether you buy locally or not... the whole system and your place in it. As manifested by your laundry room.

Rambling aside, without further ado, the list. Here's what I found seemed "unsystemed" in the laundry room. For you, some questions: how do you know when you have too many of these things? Can you tell, visually, when that happens? Do you know what to do with the excess when it happens... and do you know how to adjust your system so that, gradually, the excess (which you have to then deal with) doesn't even happen in the first place? Ultimately, how can you take responsibility for what you have, your relationships, and your boundaries so that your life takes a balanced amount of maintenance energy allowing you to actually LIVE?

coats
shoes
vacuums
tools
appliances
dog toys, leashes, etc.
small kitchen appliances
clothes (clean/dirty)
detergent products
hangers (extra, in use)
coupons
extra bulk food
gloves
hats

So? How'd you do on your mental walk through? If it wasn't 100%, it'll happen again in your head. Is it worth tasting the trust in a system for these things so that there's no excess, no lack, and the balance sits strongly? How might that taste? Not perfection, but dynamic, relaxed balance.

Happy New Year! (wonderful morning, comments whoopsie, etc.)

2008-01-01T07:31:00.000-05:00

Happy new year, everyone!

It's 7:30 and I've had a wonderful morning so far - an exciting way to start the new year for me. I woke up from a dream/nightmare about worries I have with MLK day events at NCSSM I'm helping to plan - wonderful! Very exciting to me to start my year off with worries about diversity education being done well. Then I did some zazen and did one of the morning chants I really enjoy:
Sentient beings are numberless; I vow to awaken with them.
Delusions are inexhaustible; I vow to end them.
Dharma gates are boundless; I vow to enter them.
Buddha's Way is unsurpassable; I vow to become it.

Did a bit of brainstorming on MLK to get those worries out of my head into actionables... something I might not have been able to as clearly do last year. I've made progress in being "cleaner" with my GTD implementation, which is really progress toward, to me, directly facing myself and my worries, interests, capabilities, etc. Also, got up to get my two hakamas and Sarah's hakama out of the washer for hanging. We wash them about once a year (kinda like belts - I was told not to wash mine because of damage to certain parts), and they must be hung dry - so got to hanging them in my room with the space heater on high.

Social justice, GTD, Aikido, Zen all on my mind before 7:30 in the new year. Who knows what this year will bring, but a very pleasant start!

Also - Crapzola, my comments settings were all askew! Til now, only folks with blogger accounts could comment. LAME. Fixed that yesterday, so folks can comment away on my ramblings. :-)

peace & justice in the new year! Ring it in with all you've got!

mike

How to listen to a teacher: simle of the six stains

2007-12-31T14:56:00.000-05:00

...and here's those six stain similes for proper listening, also from The Nectar of Manjurshri's Speech. �Don't do these. :-)

It is said in the Vyakhyayukti:
To be puffed up with pride, to have no faith,
To have no yearning interest,
Outwardly distracted, inwardly withdrawn,
To listen with despondency: These are all impurities.

The commentary also says:

This refers respective to the pride of thinking oneself superior to the teacher and to one's spiritual companions. �It refers to a lack of confidence in the Dharma, the teacher, and one's fellow disciples. �It refers also to an absence of keen interest and endeavor in the Dharma, and indicates distraction when the mind runs after the outer objects of the senses and is not concentrated, or when it sinks into a state of dullness and torpor. �It refers too to the dismay one might feel at the length of the teaching session, or at the discomforts of hunger or thirst, or of heat or cold, on account of which one does not want to listen or else listens with displeasure. �[...] one must control one's behavior, have an attitude of utmost respect, and listen to the teachings in the proper manner.

Good "ideas" like these, to me, are only useful when they can be appropriately applied. �Even outside of Buddhism, specifically in Aikido or GTD or even social justice motivation, it seems these could be used as checklists for one's perspective. �So, in GTD, one might ask:

Is my thinking I'm awesome at GTD keeping me from learning?
Am I unwilling to trust that GTD has any merit whatsoever? (recognizing that some faith can only be realized by familiarity, meaning you've gotta do SOMETHING to get the flavor of it)
Do I think that being organized isn't that important? (i.e. not recognizing the strain on other important parts of life, however subtle yet insidious)
Am I tooling around with the GTD implementation specifics, like fancy handhelds or other external manifestations of a system, and not really practicing?
Am I navel-gazing, thinking about the perfect GTD system and how I'll implement it...someday?
Am I wallowing in how hard implementation will be, how long it'll take, how much money/time/resources, without applying GTD to This Right Here? �Am I stuck on the overwhelmingness of the big picture than I can't see managable chunks of projects and completable next actions?

Seems these stains have lots of applications! �Can you see the aikido or community change making parallels?

GTD: My Implementation part 2: How I process

2007-12-15T20:14:00.000-05:00

Onward and upward! Or something.

For those that know GTD, you know what process means: take something, put it where it belongs, and leave an intelligently (and quickly!) filed reminder in a list system that I trust. Folks use lotsa things for lists... but for me, this seems to work really well. First, the lists.

Lists are of a few types in GTD. First, you've got your "next action" lists. This is stuff that you're able to actually do (meaning it's a single activity, physical, envisionable, etc.) when you're in the right context. These lists are kept by context (like "At Phone" is the list of the phone calls you could make), and (to me) ideally cross referenced by date IF something has to be done on that day from that list. Still, many of these to-dos might not have dates. The scenario this list is used? You've gotten everything done you "need" to do today by checking your calendar and dated next actions... and you feel like a-workin' ahead or on something that needs to be done, but doesn't have to be done today. So you whip out your context list.

Here's my context next action list and how I use it.

@ - My GTD next action reminders. This is a cheat - I put some fake tasks in here that remind me of how to DO stuff. Cuz, no joke, I sometimes forget. Here's those tasks, actually:

GTD Workflow Mastery: Collect, Process, Organize, Review, Do
GTD Choose Action: Context->Time->Energy->Priority
GTD Daily Work: Do predefined, do as it shows up, defining it
GTD Weekly Review (w/ notes so I can do my weekly review wherever - recurs Thu)
GTD Monthly Review (same deal - recurs 1st sun of the month)
GTD @: single, atomic, physical, seeable, context, committed, action verb

@Aiki-Doing - I have a part-time consulting company (you're on its webpage right now!) I know that the only time I'd do these next actions is if I'm at the computer AND online AND in "makin' extra $" mode.

@Brainstorming - Stuff I could do anywhere. And do! If I'm catching a quiet dinner by myself, I might pull out one of these. Then again, I might just have a quiet dinner.

@Email - Emails! It's all lumped together, my work and personal, since I'm doing it from the same place. I've had these split (the way phone is currently split) into work and personal... but I found that since my minutes are charged differently, I like to be intentional about separating my personal and work calls.

@Home - Stuff around the house. This might be "vacuum & mop the floors" on the weekend (which it is today, for example) or "take a look into the attic" referring to our house's attic project.

@Meeting - Agendas. Each agenda starts with the person's name, like "Cal: Talk about heterosexism and racism training day for PANC for ideas."

@OfflineCPU -Things to do when I'm, gasp, offline.

@OnlineCPU - Things I need a net connection for.

@Phone-Personal - Duh! I make most of these calls on weekends or after 9. Cha-Ching.

@Phone-Work - Usually make these during the day when I'm in the car. I know that's naughty... but I find I need less emotional energy when I'm talking work. Or I just do it when I park the car someplace I get early.

@Reading - Stuff I've actually committed to reading

@Running Errands - A great list. I get in my car, I check it. I go in a store, I check it. It might have "Durham: Thrift Shop: Get a crappy bag with a nice zipper" so I can put it on my yoga bag. So I'll be in Durham, getting in my car (or planning my day), and realize "oh, I've got a few Durham errands, lemme tack that on here and here...

@SAS - My UNC internship is at SAS, and I'm religious about not bringing work home. I'm only going to do these things at my desk there, whether emails, calls, research on eldercare, sorting, etc.

And two ESSENTIAL categories that relate..

Suspended - tasks with a date set for them to be active. They do NOT show up on my lists daily, but will pop up on the day I need them on either my outlook today or my nice PDA today screen.

Waiting For - again, dated. If I send an email to someone, while it's sending (2 seconds or so?) I use the hotkeys for a new waiting for task and put a date on it. Literally, takes about 2-3 seconds. But that way, in a week if they haven't gotten back to me, I know to check in.

My projects list is also in this system. I've worked literally for years to try to find out how to best watch projects, and came up with this. Each of the "areas of responsibility" for my life is a category with projects under it.

_ Same as above - GTD project reminders for how to work the system

GTD Natural Planning: 1.Principles 2.Vision 3. Brainstorm 4. Organize 5. Next Action
GTD Priorities / Reviews

_Aiki-Doing - Got a list of the clients I'm working with and the work I'm doing for them.

_Basic Personal Stuff - My eating

_Body Training - Specific Aikido, yoga, tai chi goals. Treating injuries, good eating, sleeping, this goes in here.

_Community Engagement - My active community projects. I don't know if it's good or bad that this is often my largest list.

_Community Radar - Community projects I'm not active on, but I want to keep on my mind.

_Education - Projects for each of my UNC classes, upcoming seminars, etc.

_Family - Folks on my mind, so I can keep track of what's going on with them.

_Friends - same thing - notes on folks I'm close to. This isn't ALL my friends - just the folks I want to stay more regularly connected with.

_Home - Home projects, like "Clean Attic" or "Beautiful Walkway to large tree"

_Magic - my magic training projects. Stuff like "think about transitions between this routine and this one..." And Josh's upcoming Magic show at Man Bites Dog, that I'll be a part of again...

_SAS Project - Again, big picture SAS stuff.

_Zen - Basically says "meditate." lol.

Lastly, my maybe someday list. Here's where stuff goes that I might get around to someday... and maybe I wont.

~ - Misc. I don't care about sorting these as much...lol.

~Blog Ideas - I've amassed about 200 things in this category. I've written 5. That's ok. lol.

~Community - Neato community project idears

~DurhamCET -

~Education - seminars, etc. I might like to go to.

~Friends - stuff I might do for friends if I have the time down the road.

~Fun - fun ways to play I can pull from whenever

~Home - hare-brained idears for the dojo house.

~Magic - Routines I might like to add, but won't commit to right now.

~Net-Browsing - go look at this neat thing when you have time... or not!

~Organizing - stuff that might be perfectionism... so by putting it here I give myself permission NOT to do it.

~Personal - eh, I might gt some black pants that wick...but I think I have enough clothes as it is. I'll leave it there for later or never.

~Relationships - folks not quite friends at this point, but if I've got time I'll reach out and send somebody a CD or something.

~Tech - again, doodads I probably don't need. Just get it off my mind already!

~Work - Brainstorms to increase consulting advertising, etc.

That's WHERE I process. Here's HOW I process.

I'm a techie. Not quite at heart, but in training. I've got this neato thing called AutoHotKey (google it!) that let's me create Outlook tasks in a heartbeat. Let's say I'm sending an email and need to create a waiting for.

I'd type
(win-t)wfMandy re: lunch(tab)wed(alt-s)
while the email's sending, and that would

(win-t) : open up a new task window for outlook (no matter what I'm using at the time).
wf : deletes "wf" text, types the short-cuts for the categories list (alt-g) and selects waiting for, then gets me back to the subject
Mandy email re: lunch : who I'm waiting on and for what
(tab) wed : drops me to the due date and gives me the next wed.
(alt-s) : saves and closes my new task. It'll then show up in my few task views, my PDA, and my today screens.

Processing, in practice, looks like emptying my inbox (which I usually do as I get things, it's just so fast), emptying my paper inbox at the end of the day, and emptying my PDA of voice recording notes. All of those things I quickly use some hotkeys for and turn into tasks. Processing into Outlook nabs me some pretty nice views, which is what all this processing is for, in a sense: to give me snapshots of what I need, when I need it, so I can make good decisions and not drop any balls.

And I'll do a view showin' soon!

How to listen to a teacher - the simile of the vessel

2007-12-15T19:50:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I enjoy a reminder of what it takes to really listen to a teacher. As both a teacher and (moreso) a student in martial arts, and a student at UNC's MSW program, I enjoyed something I found (for the second or third time!) on listening and wanted to share.

So today I took some time to read a new book - commentary on one of my favorite, if not my favorite Buddhist teaching: Shantideva's Bodhicaryavatara - The path of the Bodhisattva - available online or in paper format in my current favorite translation. I've read it often, maybe about 50 times through at this point, and I enjoy commentaries on it. For those not familiar with that term, it's pretty common in Buddhism for sutras or teachings to be commented on and have those commentaries get famous in their own right. So, back to what I'm reading: the Nectar of Manjushri's Speech: A Detailed Commentary on Shantideva's Way of the Bodhisattva.

In the introduction to the commentary, the author reviews a few Buddhist reminders about listening. First, the three defects of a vessel:

Concerning the three defects of a vessel, it is said:
Inattentive, you are like a vessel overturned.
Forgetful, you are like a ruptured vessel.
Stained by the afflictions, you are like a poisoned vessel.

So: don't do those! :-) In Aikido, that seems to parallel as well. I notice these as a student and teacher, but prefer to share my experience embodiing the listening "whoopsies" myself.

While sitting in seiza listening to Steve Sensei or another teacher, if I find myself with a wandering mind on what I'm going to do after class, or some situation from my "outside" life, that's me as the vessel overturned. If I'm watching, but not really taking in what he's saying and then miss basics like footwork or handwork clearly off, I'm like a ruptured vessel. If I'm of a "peace ninja" type mind, thinking how Awesome I'm going to be when I get up and do that technique myself, I'm like a poisoned vessel (maybe it's got mold in it or something, I don't know). So the antidotes, from aikido, seem to be:

To deeply and ravenously search out the energetic relationship being demonstrated. What is sensei's core doing? How is his spine moving, what are his internal movements? I sometimes lean forward and try to drink in the situation. That keeps me from feeling as "overturned"
To ensure that I'm also looking at the basics. If all else fails, "forward foot goes back, then step" or whatever. If I can't even lock down on the rough hand and foot movements, how will I hunt down the internal movement that the structure enables?
To watch humbly, mindful of the non-competitive spirit of aikido. I am not in class to become a dangerous martial artist, a dangerous man. I am there to clean up my spirit and not roughly pull someone all over the place. To me, it should feel like guiding their energy around, making sense of the uke/nage relationship.

So, food for thought!

I'll follow this up eventually with the six stains - another simile for bad listeners!