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You know, I think "flow" is a pretty important concept...and not just to GTD. GTDers I'm sure will recognize flow as a state to measure against, in a sense... the dynamic tension of things to do and relaxation in doing it... freely moving to the next thing to be done after freely having decided it was the next thing to do in a world where you can only ever do one thing. Flow runs deep to me, and I won't be able to share all my thoughts on it here... but I think flow is enabled, at least in the beginning, by certain best practices. Here's three of them I consider important for me:

* a balance of structure and organic circumstances. In arts, this would be training scales, katas/named techniques, etc... then finding the "life" in those structures. In life, this would be routines, and finding life in those routines.

* a body posture that balances muscle groups along structural integrity lines while allowing the joints to be open and relaxed while moving or not (see aikido, tai chi, zazen)

* a mindset that neither attaches to conceptualizing something (pretending you know it!) nor pretending you have no idea or experience about it (pretending you don't!)... but meeting it fresh with your memory of your experiences and the pregnant newness of the moment.

Just my two cents, I guess.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXIeFJCqsPs

Labels: aikido, Buddhism, Personal, social justice

Sometime soon after a car accident I was in about a month and a half ago (right before my NYC/FL/PHL trip) I got this weird and painful lump in my jaw. And by painful I mean really annoying, nagging. And you know what's fascinating?

I'm more irritable of late.

Mostly in my head (I hope). But I find myself being much more irritable with the jaw pain going on. It's come and go some, but been around often lately. I've had this experience before...and been on the receiving end of it too. My grandmother has both rheumatoid (??) and osteo arthritis and is in pain continuously - or so she'll admit to in vulnerable moments we've shared. And sometimes she can be...well, irritable.

I know people that are assholes when they're hungry, or get withdrawn when they're sleepy. And, I kid you not, when i was trained in advanced wilderness first aid one of the "by the book" symptoms of hypothermia is "dickhead syndrome" - generally being irritable and aggressive. I dunno what book we were using, but it was really in there, no joke.

What's interesting about this is to me, among other things, is that it has really been reminding me of the importance of mental training, specifically Buddhist training, to recognize experiences as BOTH internally created and externally created... and not be bound to entirely external solutions (which I seem to have limited control over, for as much personal work or organizing I do to change things). I'm getting away from myself though - the experience I enjoy here is that my irritation is clearly, mostly me. People aren't really being dumb, or doing weird aikido, or whatever. I'm just...well, mentally more of a dickhead than usual. "Mentally."

Thich Nhat Hanh once described body and mind as "not two." I really like that. Not "one", exactly, but certainly not two. I think Dogen does call them "one" in the Shobogenzo, but who knows what that's translated from. At any rate, I find that to truly be the case from experience - from training and teaching martial arts for (holy shit: my 20 years mark is coming up!) most of my life I definitely find that shades of aggression, shyness, depression, sneakiness, co-dependency actually have houses in people's bodies. Certain muscle habits and subsequent postural tendencies really seem to be linked strongly to emotional habits. In a sense, when your mom said "don't make that face; it might stick that way" I think she was partly right. Just physically, repeat a "I hate you" face and 1) you're practicing muscle memory, literally strengthening certain patterns in your face, neck, upper shoulders, lower back, etc. and 2) you're practicing a neurological pattern ... or at least an emotionally practiced response. Research shows (heh: "they" say...) that if you just smile a lot, you'll feel a bit happier.

But that means that the situation as is in your life can be addressed from "two" angles, in the duality sense. Yes, get adjustments, stretch and do yoga, take care of your body, eat well (heck, do Aikido and Tai Chi)... because it does effect your mind. Being vegetarian for around a half dozen years now and I can tell you that if I don't get a generally right balance of nutrients it impacts my mood in precise ways. But also doesn't that mean you might be able to effect your posture, musculature, etc. by doing mental exercises? There are certainly a lot of them: Buddhist literature I've read, Japanese zen and Definitely Tibetan, has a ton of Bodhisattva practices to take up. I don't know if the mind can cure cancer or fix your busted foot, but I can't say it's unrelated from these things.

In fact, in my own practice, I can often feel my body take different positions in aikido, more weight underside and extension for example, when I have more of a sensation of open-mindedness and seeing a situation as a whole ... rather than fixating on the attacking hand or some such thing. If this "not two" distinction is true, that's some good news, to me... or at least has seen like good news lately. It means that I have to change a bit less about my external world, and can do a bit more with "what I have" to bring about change.

Though, all of this is kinda bunk, in another way. I feel I came to my practices (mental and physical) through a sense of suffering and wanting to change it, improve my life, etc. (In Tyler Durden's words: "self improvement is masturbation.") But at this point, the whole pursuit of happiness thing seems like ... well, maybe endless. And if you don't enjoy walking an endless road... uh. Maybe try something else if you're interested in enjoying something.

Also, as a related aside, I have a sneaking suspicion my need to be doing "the right thing the right way" is a hiding mechanism. I'm interested in sustainability, mindfulness, etc... but at heart, lately (and especially post-training intensive) it feels like all the "good" stuff is really feeding the same sense of hiding from "life as is" (with questions and unknowns, greater responsibility and openness) as what looks less Buddhist/celebratable/healthy/whatever. I think this is part of why I have a hard time believing something that someone does that seems shitty is very different than what a do-gooder does... as much as I often prefer to be around do-gooders at this point. But that might change. It's kinda a weird preference: if delusion or attempts to hide can take the form of good or bad (which I feel strongly about that they can) then preferences for folks that feed me in a way I "enjoy" seems ... eh. .

Labels: Buddhism, Personal

This is one of my favorite clips from one of my one or two dozen favorite movies. It's almost wordless. I carry stones in my heart for times I was careless with the lives of others... important, those stones, I feel.


I imagine it would be a meaningful practice to make a list of all the people who we were hostile/vengeful, careless or unkind to... out of ignorance of what we were really doing. Then taking that list, and meditating deeply on the possible damage those sufferings may have caused in later experiences for that person. All the ways prior carelessness with people enables more danger to them later, like the snake killed by the other animal. This seems like an important thing to remember and carry.

Labels: Buddhism, fun, Personal

So I've set up a macro on my computer to make writing a blog a 1-step process for me. Just press it and start typing, then press another key stroke and it's sent to the blog. No more logging in and toolin' around. I hope this'll make me more likely to do it.

I've been thinking about posting questions every once in a while. Questions of a specific flavor, actually. This statement came to my mind (after a thought train) when I was sitting in a class on internalizing racist inferiority or supremacy:

Questions point to an experience people have had, but haven't named themselves (because they hadn't a language yet, mental space, etc.) are very, very powerful. In essence, questions that name the already existing question of "what is this?" are a spiritual practice and good for community...especially in a culture that emphasizing knowing IMMEDIATELY with no effort and an unwillingness to hold not-knowing. (and at this point I laughed at how quickly KNOWING that came to me. lol)

And here's the first, out of a conversation with Dana Turner, a rockin' person in NY who's becoming even awesomer.

"If you were the kind of person that really, really liked yourself and was happy with what you'd been involved in in your life (like you took time to go do all the awesome things you might be putting off), how much cooler would that make you to people who ALREADY think you're cool? What would your honoring your interests deeply do for them and their ability to be more that way themselves? What would that do for community?"

Well?

Labels: Buddhism, Personal, social justice

I love Amy Faulring.

We met in college through a circle of wonderful socially radical folks (many of which have gotten radicaler. Which is a rockin' word) and dated for some time. I remember the first email she sent about her exciting and proud arrest as part of GreenPeace. Now I got this one. Check the links for some Really cool photos of the Washington phallic monument.

And "graffiti" isn't really the right word. Strategically and creatively liberate. lol.

PS Check out the billboard liberation front for more creative uses of existing structure for social justice pro-community messaging idears. http://www.billboardliberation.com/

====

Hi folks,
Just wanted to share with you a little project I was involved with on the
national mall last night.  About 60 GP activists successfully blocked the
massive flood lights and projected an image on the national monument calling
out the US inaction on global warming.  Luckily, no arrests (and I was not
in an arrestable position as I'm on probation until november).

It was hella fun & we have some great images!

In between giving our truck a few citations, the police pulled out their
personal cell phones and snapped some photos.   :-) 

Enjoy!
Amy


Photos are available
at:http://usaphoto.greenpeace.org/wash_monument_01_29_08/

For Immediate Release                    January 29, 2008

GREENPEACE TURNS NATION¹S MOST ICONIC LANDMARK INTO MEMORIAL TO
FAILED BUSH LEGACY ON CLIMATE
Bush Plan Portrayed as a Disaster on Eve of U.S-Led Climate Change
Meeting

WASHINGTON­ Responding to the Bush administration¹s continued
obstruction of international efforts to address global warming,
Greenpeace activists turned one of the nation¹s most iconic symbols
into a memorial to Bush¹s failed legacy on climate change.
Greenpeace projected on the Washington Monument the message: U.S.
Global Warming Plan: Hell and High Water accompanied by an image
depicting rising sea levels at the base, a predicted consequence of
global warming.

"President Bush¹s policies on global warming are a disaster,² said
John Coequyt, energy policy analyst at Greenpeace USA. ³His
international meeting on climate change in Hawaii slated to begin
tomorrow is a rogue process to deflect attention from the
administration¹s insistence to maintain America¹s dependence on
dirty and dangerous energy sources while failing to address the
growing climate crisis. As the Washington monument has long outlived
the president it was built to honor, so too will Bush¹s legacy on
climate change stand as a memorial to his neglect, obstruction and
destruction.²

Greenpeace¹s projection served to call attention to Bush¹s global
warming policies a day after his State of the Union address and on
the eve of Bush¹s international meeting of the world¹s largest
emitters of global warming pollution, called the ³Major Economies
Meeting,² which takes place in Hawaii on Wednesday and Thursday.

After being roundly rebuked in December in Bali at the UN¹s
International Conference on Climate Change, the Bush administration
continues to push its alternative Major Economies process that seeks
to replace the Kyoto Protocol¹s legally binding emissions reduction
targets with a completely inadequate voluntary approach.  ³If the
President were serious about leading on climate change, he would
stop obstructing the U.N.¹s process and endorse a cap on U.S.
greenhouse gas emissions,² Coequyt said. The United States stands
completely isolated as the only industrialized country on the planet
not to ratify the Kyoto Protocol.

³The Bush administration continues to push a climate-destroying
agenda and to obstruct all meaningful efforts to address global
warming by the international community,² said Daniel Mittler of
Greenpeace International. ³Its role was so negative at the global
negotiations on climate change in Bali last month that the U.S.
delegates were literally booed by other participants. It was a
stunning and well-deserved rebuke. This meeting is a charade and has
no legitimacy at all.²

Greenpeace is calling on the countries attending the meeting to
maintain their commitments to substantive action under the Kyoto
Protocol. Participating countries include: Japan, France, Germany,
Italy, the United Kingdom, China, Canada, India, Brazil, South
Korea, Mexico, Russia, Australia, Indonesia, and South Africa, as
well as the United Nations, the EU Presidency and the EU Commission.

CONTACT: Jane Kochersperger, Media Officer Greenpeace USA, +1 202
680 3798 cell
John Coequyt, Greenpeace USA energy campaign, +1 202 669 7060
Daniel Mittler,Greenpeace International Policy Advisor, +1 49 171
876 53 45
Photos are available
at:http://usaphoto.greenpeace.org/wash_monument_01_29_08/
Notes: A major emitters briefing memo is available upon request. For
further information on the outcome of the Bali negotiations, go to:
www.greenpeace.org/bali-meeting

Labels: Personal, social justice

Cool. Last Friday in my macro social work class (organizations and groups - basically a community organizing type class) our intro activity was to tell the prof our name and one or two aspects of our ideal job. I went first and realized I cared much more about what other folks were going to say than saying my piece - which is a great place to be. I quickly whipped out a pen and took notes.

So, this list is provided as is. It's a powerful checklist not just for getting a new job... but advocating for changes for whatever you're already doing to make it more sustainable as an activity. Some of these things seem to contradict and some are duplicates, but again: as is.

I've seen lists like this in the past...but as a list created entirely by helping professionals, I thought it might be interesting. For me, as someone that wants to do program management (really, I want the executive director position of a PA site, preferrably PANC... very specific!), this would be a great checklist to measure how a job is doing at providing culture for staff.

Without further ado, the list.

• The work is values driven, everything from projects to menial tasks. Everything done connects clearly (or can be connected) with the answer to the question : how is this an important action that fit my values and the organization's values?
• It's local and bikable/walkable... it's almost neighborhood work.
• (1) There's little bureaucracy and (2) measurement of outcomes to improve meaningful services is joyfully participated in vs. used as impossible to meet expectations to measuring how lacking everyone is.
• Flexible work schedule to allow for necessary personal life commitments
• Comfortable pay - not too high (unethically so, money begins to complicate life), not too low (basics to life comfortably with a balance of occasional fun purchase).
• Dynamic job with a great deal of self-determination in both what gets done and how to do it within the team context - individual values are valued.
• (1) No random hours, like working 9-10, then 6-8, then...etc. If you're "working 8 hours", it's an efficient 8 hours - no huge and repetitious commutes or transition times that make working 8 hours have a 14 hour toll on your personal life (2) Working directly with folks served.
• (1) Be challenged and (2) to reach someone and make a meaningful benefit
• (1) Goals for job are actually achievable or "winnable. (2) Everyone in the organization, from clients/consumers to staff to community members has a voice, a say in what's being done and how it's being done.
• Variety! Working independently and as a team.
• (1) Have a personal voice in the organization. (2) Make a visible difference in the eyes of consumers and staff.
• (1) Flexible and challenging. (2) Client's issues come first, billing comes second.
• (1) Collaboration with a team. (2) Keeping the client/consumer at the core.
• (1) There's time for reading and reflection, and that time isn't frowned on but given value. (2) Listening is appreciated as well.
• Opportunities to learn from colleagues, make a difference and advance in the job.
• More dialog with decision makers so up and down are connected.
• (1) Make a difference and (2) Personal life and job are balanced.
• Co-workers and self have a passion to do the job.
• Flexible schedule and flexible in how to get things done (self-determination).
• You can SEE the impact you're making.
• Flexible in what you do during the day, not just non-stop routine and schedule.
• Be one's own boss - make what you want to happen happen.
• (1) Strong leadership and (2) agency security.
• (1) New ideas are respected and (2) You know you're making a difference
• You've got time w/ family... you can work from home or at a distance sometimes.
• It doesn't overwhelm you.
• Your supervisor's available (but not micromanaging).
• Leadership has clear communication.
• You can advocate for yourself AND your clients/consumers.
• There' s a line between work and life... work does not EQUAL life. (other folks felt otherwise.)
  

Labels: Personal, social justice

Turns out that there's a huge wood pile in the back yard, covered in blackberries and brush. In plans to create a firepit out back, I spent all day yesterday, with help from Steve Sensei and Sarah, burning down a lot of the brush and clearing the area.

Some time ago, through PWILD, I was on a trail maintanance crew (shout outs to C-Crew: Jen-1n, Greta, Allison, and Jenn-2n's) that hiked through Pisgah... maintaining stuff. Except for the licking flames, this brought back memories! The fire went well, though had a scary large blaze at the first. Thanksfully, it died down into something more managable. We cleared with a controlled blaze roughly a 50-80 rectangle. Now there's clean up to do.

Thanks again to Steve and Sarah. Sarah posted some pictures on her facebook, fyi.

peace,mike

Labels: Personal

After morning aikido, we loaded Sarah's fit (so tiny!  So Huge!) and Andy Wood's mondo truck with mats for the evening demonstration in Raleigh.  Open Sky was invited to bring folks again...very fun stuff!  

The demo went great.  Lots of adults were there, and even more folks from the kids program.  Highlights of the festival, to me, were excellent Taiko drumming and Bon dancing.  And our demo :-D !  At any rate, I love being part of demos, especially as an uke - folks get all charged up and throw with some extra ummph.

Also, during the festival my bro Tom called to talk some relationship ideas... since he's still processing a previous relationship.  It was somewhat coincidental, since Sarah and I had some good relationship talks in the last few days as well.  One theme I feel is essential in processing relationships is allowing oneself to be "normal."  That seems to come up all the time.  Here's what I mean:

Let's say some crazy stuff happens in the relationship... and you end up "breaking up" (whatever that means, in practice!) with that person.  I feel I've experienced and I've been a friend to others that have experienced wild emotions after the fact, many of which folks might not want to be experiencing: jealousy, anger, deep sadness/despair, etc.  But then there's the self-hostility that sometimes gets let out when we have these cultural norms of "clean breaks."  What is that?  Personally, I've never been able to "stop" feeling for folks.  My feelings have changed over time, and never overnight... but never "stopped."  There are a host of cultural models that relate to relationships I think are Nutso, but for now I'll leave it there.

Also, as is clear (maybe?) I'm still gradually getting into this blog THANG.  Eventually, I'm hoping to concentrate days so each day is a different themed post... but this month I'm just getting used to posting sometimes... and more and more so.  So.  Another successful, rambly post.  

Good thing, to me, setting up a blog and a website is a process.  And I've significantly tamed a lot of my crazy perfectionism, though my old friend is certainly still in this habit mind of mine.  

Anywho, more later as I ramble...I've still mentally got a month of play before I establish a routine!  

peace,mike

Labels: aikido, Personal

Since moving into "the house that the dojo built," Sarah and I hadn't had a chance to carpool to Open Sky Aikido together a few miles away at the Boone Shopping Center.  Today, we did!  We started rice before hand so that food would be nearly prepared when we got back (thank you, rice cooker technology).

After class, Sarah Kaneko, Alex Hamer and I were sitting in the back talking about Body Worlds being in Charlotte... when Sarah noticed a wave of water coming out of the back dojo room.  Frantically, we started mopping, laying rags, and called Steve Sensei to let him know our dojo was being quickly flooded from the back.  

See, we're next to this tshirt making place.  Turns out a hose connected to some piece of water pressure equipment bucked off from the machine and started, literally, a nonstop flood of water coming from their side of the barn.  Sarah, Alex and I were chatting almost 40 minutes after class was over - if we weren't there to begin the frantic "bail out the ship that is our dojo(!)," this hose would have quickly filled a few inches of our entire dojo at the rate it was going... since it would have had a full 12 hours to run before folks started coming in.

There's nothing like unplugging refridgerators with your feet in two inches of water.  Well, actually, I got out of the water and stood on the countertops to pull it... but I definitely, inanely, had my hand on the outlet before I realized "hey, I'm standing in water."  I don't want to win any Darwin Awards.  Imagine a fire starting in the dojo because of the water problem... it's not every dojo that can say it simultaneously was flooded away while on fire.  

So, that having been said, the dojo is safe and sound (thanks to mad-dash water scooping and mopping... and a friendly neighborhood emergency plumber/water person who arrived 40 minutes into it with a monster wet vac), Sarah and I came home to some Well-Cooked rice (which we proceeded to turn into yummy giant burritos), and our first "real" night together in the dojo house will proceed, hopefully, much less on emergency mode.

And I'll wash and dry my gi-top, which worked well as a giant wet rag.  Sandbags would have been nice.  

peace,
Mike

Labels: aikido, Personal